One-Liners #12

-My neighbor plays a lot of golf. He claims his handicap is his clubs.

-I know a deli-owner who can't wait for the last day on earth. He claims he'll make a fortune on orders to go..

-A hardware store that sells propane had this sign out front: 'Tank 
heaven for little grills.'

-A dentist posted this sign in his office: 'Floss that bridge when you come to it.'

A sign posted in a credit union said: 'A loan again? See us.'

Two contact sports: football and Christmas shopping.

-If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you're overdressed.

-It's hard to be fit as a fiddle, when you're shaped like a cello.

-Never eat any product on which the listed ingredients cover more than one third of the package.

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, until you lose.

It is a dog-eat-dog world out there and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.

It is a poor workman who blames his tools.

What do you call a fish with no eye? Answer: Fsh.

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